Welcome Carl and Jack as they share the unconventional details of their South London wedding with us! On August 3rd, 2019, the couple exchanged vows at The Asylum Chapel, a unique venue that set the tone for an unforgettable celebration. After the ceremony, they took their guests on a fun-filled journey through the city, complete with packed lunches, courtesy of the iconic London buses. This non-traditional approach was just the beginning, as they then headed to The East Dulwich Tavern for their lively pub wedding reception. With mouth-watering cuisine and a carefully curated playlist, this memorable night was made even more special by the fantastic images captured by Fiona Kelly Photography, a member of our Supplier Love community. As we gaze upon these stunning visuals, it’s clear that Carl, Jack, and Fiona formed a strong bond, resulting in an exceptional visual record of their special day. Last but not least, let’s talk about the dashing duo’s stylish attire – those check suits and Converse shoes are truly unforgettable!
The Proposal
We embarked on an unconventional engagement journey, marked by two proposals and a five-year wait between them. Carl’s initial ask occurred in December 2012 atop the Qubbet el-Hawa in Egypt, overlooking the Nile’s first cataract. The proposal was met with celebration at McDonald’s in Aswan that evening, but Carl insisted on equal footing by wanting Jack to propose when the time was right. Five years later, in October 2017, Jack finally got down on one knee in a car park on the outskirts of Bologna – albeit not as scenic as initially planned due to unexpected road closures. After three miles of trekking and a year-and-a-half delay, we exchanged vows in August 2019.
The Vision
To create an unforgettable experience for our guests, we sought inspiration from the eclectic energy of London. We deliberately opted for something unconventional, aiming to subvert expectations and deliver a unique twist on tradition. By doing so, we managed to delightfully surprise those who anticipated more classic offerings.
The Planning Process
London being our home base, we underestimated just how far ahead you need to plan for life’s milestones. The two-year mark turned out to be an illusion. In reality, most of the heavy lifting happens at the beginning and end of the process, with a lot of waiting and managing expectations in between. Despite this, we thoroughly enjoyed the planning phase and made sure to involve our suppliers every step of the way. Their input proved invaluable as they helped us craft the wedding celebration that reflected our unique style. In fact, we were so enthusiastic about the experience that we even shared our story on a blog afterwards.
Budget
In a perfect blend of frugality and generosity, Carl’s priorities shifted from a small budget wedding to investing in a new home just two days after the ceremony. Meanwhile, Jack sought a more inclusive experience for their guests, allowing everyone to indulge in some delicious eats. As our approaches merged, we managed to have an entire weekend celebration without breaking the bank, all within a budget of around £12,000 – slightly higher than our initial target, but one that ultimately created lasting memories we’ll treasure forever.
The Venue
The moment we stepped into The Asylum’s unique venue during one of their regular open evenings, we knew it was the perfect spot for our special day. The chapel-like atmosphere, complete with distressed decorations and crumbling paint, resonated deeply with us. Our shared love of history and ruins made the story of The Asylum’s neglect and subsequent revival by Maverick Projects all the more compelling.Our search for the ideal wedding reception also led us to The East Dulwich Tavern (EDT). After reading rave reviews on numerous south London wedding blogs, we decided to pay them a visit for lunch to gauge the quality of their food. We were won over not only by their affordable rates but also by the friendly and accommodating staff. Their willingness to let us put our own stamp on the reception was the icing on the cake.
The Readings & Music
In a departure from traditional wedding readings, Carl and I spent considerable time searching for personal and meaningful texts to set the tone for our special day. Carl’s love of Kylie Minogue led him to choose a section of her song ‘Come Into My World’ as the first reading. Initially, Michaela was hesitant, but after we worked together to remove repetition and allowed her ample time to practice, she gladly agreed to participate. In fact, during her reading, we had to stifle our giggles, knowing that if we caught each other’s eyes, we would all burst out laughing. For the second reading, Jack opted for a song from the Disney classic ‘Pocahontas’, a nod to his passion for all things Disney. His choice, ‘If I Never Knew You’, featured beautiful lyrics, which our friend Kim brought to life with her reading. The collective ‘Awwww’ that followed was testament to its emotional impact. To further celebrate the strength and beauty of women, we crafted a playlist featuring only female vocalists, paying homage to the powerful women who have shaped our lives. This decision resonated with Gina and her team at the EDT, who praised our playlist as a highlight of the day. With no regrets, we left the venue that night feeling grateful for the unique touches that made our wedding truly unforgettable.
Your Outfits & Accessories
In the chaos of wedding preparations, we found ourselves at odds with a suit supplier. Despite ordering months in advance, they botched the order, prompting us to cancel just a week before the big day. With time running out, we took a risk and purchased alternative suits from Next. While it wasn’t our original plan, we couldn’t be happier with how things turned out. The unconventional approach added to the event’s charm and gave everything a bespoke feel.As for the rest of the wedding party, Carl’s sister opted for an off-the-rack dress from Debenhams, while Liam, Jack’s brother, was the only one who actually wore his originally hired suit. Interestingly, he was the only one among us who didn’t love his attire. This experience taught us a valuable lesson: sometimes it’s better to defy convention and stick with your initial instincts, even if they’re not what others might expect. And as an added bonus, we get to keep our Next suits!The biggest surprise of all came when the guys decided to wear trainers throughout the day – and Emma followed suit after the ceremony. We knew a long day was ahead and figured that comfortable footwear would be key. As it turned out, our decision paid off; none of us complained about sore feet by the end of the day. In fact, we thought the look worked really well – it might have even been our best idea.
The Wedding Party
In lieu of traditional groomsman and bridesmaid arrangements, we chose to adopt a unique approach that suited our non-traditional love story. Given the nature of our same-sex wedding, we opted to involve our siblings in more meaningful ways, entrusting them with key supporting roles throughout the celebration. This allowed us to surround ourselves with loved ones who were instrumental in making our special day truly unforgettable.
Your Photographer
When it comes to capturing the essence of your special day, it’s essential to hire a photographer who can blend in seamlessly without drawing attention away from the magic unfolding before their lens. We had an exceptional experience with Fiona Kelly, whose unique approach allowed us to feel at ease in front of the camera. She cleverly combined our wedding package with an engagement shoot in Kew Gardens, a year prior to the big day. This thoughtful gesture gave us insight into her work style and allowed her to understand our quirks – which made the actual photo shoot even more enjoyable. The final result was a stunning collection of 1300 photographs that we cherished as we shared them with family and friends. Fiona’s thoughtful presentation, complete with chocolates, scented candles, and a beautifully crafted wooden USB drive, only added to the delight. It was as if she had transported us back to that unforgettable day, reliving every joyous moment in vivid detail. Ultimately, our experience served as a poignant reminder of the importance of capturing those special moments – and we couldn’t be more grateful.
The Flowers
We opted for a minimalist approach when it came to decorating the two venues, allowing the existing decor to take center stage. A meeting with Jem from Floral Jems at Mamasons Dirty Ice Cream café in Soho’s quirky atmosphere helped us finalize our buttonhole and centerpiece designs. Our requirements were straightforward: four bespoke buttonholes for the two grooms, their siblings, and two large arrangements to flank the chapel altar area. Jem guided us towards a stunning combination of blue eryngium, succulents, and eucalyptus, accented with bright white wax flowers nestled in large ceramic jars. The miniature versions of these arrangements were used for the buttonholes. The final result was so impressive that our friends couldn’t help but transport the arrangements to the reception buffet table as well, where they added a pop of elegance.
The Cake
As enthusiastic admirers of plants, my partner and I wanted to share our love for nature with our wedding guests. We decided to give each guest a succulent as a token of appreciation, allowing them to take it home and nurture its growth – much like how our relationship has blossomed over time. The succulents were arranged around the stunning four-tiered semi-nude cake by Bea’s of Bloomsbury, which was masterfully decorated with sugar-crafted succulents that added a touch of whimsy to the overall design. This thoughtful gesture wasn’t new for us; we had previously attended a tasting session at the same venue in June and were impressed by their accommodating nature when our six-year-old niece decided she didn’t enjoy the cake halfway through her first bite. In response, they promptly found alternative treats to keep her happy. Meanwhile, our adult guests thoroughly enjoyed the cake, which featured each tier personally curated by my partner based on flavors we knew they loved.
The Details & Décor
After the ceremony, we treated our guests to a delightful spread of soft drinks and snacks on the portico of the chapel. This allowed Fiona to sneak in some romantic couple shots and formal family photos, as well as a large group shot after the confetti was thrown. The snacks were a thoughtful gesture from Adobros, a supper club that we had both attended with a friend the previous year. Mark did an excellent job of preparing them and getting them to us fresh the day before. For our guests’ journey between the ceremony and reception, we hired two London routemaster buses to take them on a scenic tour of central London. We were relieved that Retro Bus Hire was able to accommodate the Prudential bike ride’s route change, allowing us to stop at Tower Bridge for a couples shoot and make it all the way up to Parliament Square and down through Vauxhall back to Dulwich. To keep everyone satisfied during the journey, we provided packed lunches that our family had prepared the day before, ensuring that our guests were never left feeling hungry.We intentionally chose not to have a sit-down dinner, as this would have limited the number of attendees. Jack’s large Filipino family was a priority for us, and we wanted to ensure that as many could join in on the day as possible. In the end, 110 people attended, and EDT provided wine and soft drinks upon arrival. The buffet setup, with its array of food options, proved to be a huge hit, with many guests taking some home for the next day! Carl’s mum added her own touch to the venue décor by decorating it with fairy lights and empty bottles, which complemented the quirky atmosphere at EDT perfectly.
The Honeymoon
As newlyweds, we didn’t quite get the traditional honeymoon experience. In fact, our wedding and moving to a new home coincided perfectly – just two days after saying ‘I do’, we packed up our lives in east London and relocated to Peterborough. With boxes still unpacked, we dove back into work without so much as a romantic getaway. Our original plan had been to save up for a 2019 honeymoon adventure in Japan, but the COVID-19 pandemic put those plans on hold indefinitely. Instead, we’ll just have to keep saving and dreaming of that ultimate escape.
Memorable Moments
As newlyweds, we recall the sleepless night that preceded our special day with a mix of excitement and nervousness. We spent the night before at the lovely Half Moon Hotel in Herne Hill, where we couldn’t help but feel apprehensive about the upcoming ceremony. Thankfully, the hotel’s breakfast helped us muster up some energy. What added to our stress was not having written our wedding speeches beforehand, which meant we scrambled to finish them on the buses en route from the ceremony to the reception venue. Looking back, it’s clear that writing our speeches at least a day in advance would have been wise advice for any couple. Liam and Emma’s heartfelt and humorous speeches were particularly memorable, leaving us humbled by everyone’s reactions and displays of love.We asked Marina to choreograph a simple routine for our first dance to ‘Love You I Do’ from Dreamgirls, as the song’s lyrics resonated deeply with us both. Initially, we were hesitant to attempt it, requiring a few glasses of prosecco to build up the courage to rehearse with Marina in Carl’s meeting room. On the day of the wedding, after the speeches had concluded, we couldn’t wait to perform our dance, which was met with great enthusiasm from the crowd – although Jack did spend most of it ensuring he got the steps right by observing Carl’s feet! Our officiant, Jenny from Southwark Council, delivered the ceremony with sincerity and warmth, earning praise from everyone who attended. We were also thrilled with our photographer, Fiona, whose ability to connect with our family and friends impressed us all. Even our grumpy nephew Alfie was won over by her charm, and she managed to get him into a few photos despite his initial reluctance. Last but not least, we must extend our gratitude to Liza from the Asylum Chapel, who went above and beyond to ensure everything ran smoothly, even giving Carl’s sister a comforting hug when needed.
Advice For Other Couples
As I reflect on our wedding day, it’s surprising how quickly the memories have faded into a warm haze. What’s stayed with me, though, is the sense of liberation that came from not feeling beholden to traditional expectations or rules. Our big day was our own unique celebration, tailored precisely to our tastes and personalities. And I’d encourage you to adopt the same approach – after all, it’s your special moment, so why not make it exactly what you’ve always wanted? Of course, there are times when caution is warranted, but ultimately, the key is striking a balance between spontaneity and consideration for your guests. If you’re looking for more inspiration or advice on how to create an unforgettable experience, I’d recommend checking out our previous blog post featuring Fiona’s story.
Credit Where Credit Is Due
As a leading photographer, Fiona Kelly Photography is thrilled to share the unforgettable South London wedding of Carl and Jack, who had an absolute blast at their special day. With so many LGBTQI+ couples finding inspiration in our archives, we’re delighted to showcase this exceptional couple’s story. A huge thank you to Carl and Jack for allowing us to feature their joyous celebration, and we hope they soon get to enjoy their honeymoon adventure together!